life is really weird sometimes. it sucks sometimes. it would be really damn easy for me to write about how awful my life is right now, but i'm not going to. yes, my heart is broken, and yes, it is super hard to move forward without someone special who was in my every day life for 2 years. the past month, i have just done whatever it takes to get through the day. BUT i know deep down that i have a good life. i know that i have a family that loves me, and a good handful of friends that do too. i have a Father in Heaven that is begging for me to seek Him, to see myself the way that He sees me. isn't that cool? that no matter what, the Lord is going to be on your side. He's going to take care of every problem, because that's the kind of God He is. i have seen Him working in me so much the past few weeks, and i am so thankful. He is truly the only thing getting me through, and that's because he doesn't get tired of hearing my "issues".
i have really been beating myself up over the last few weeks, but i'm not going to do that anymore. i have done a lot of screw-ups, but i'm not going to let that control my life forever. i don't deserve to do that to myself. life is all about forgiveness, really. i can't go on with grudges any longer.
i am going to set goals and achieve them. that isn't something that i have ever been good at before. i am going to live my own life. i know there is a plan. from this point on i will do things that only going to make me a better me.
God, i thank you for this day. i thank you for allowing me to wake up and get dressed and get to work. i am thankful to have a job right now. i am thankful that you are showing me the things i need to see in myself, and see the things that i want and need out of life. show me more of You. i continue to ask you for guidance and clarity. thank You for loving me and never giving up on me. I ask that you be with the ones that I love today, and show them You. i ask that every insecurity be stripped from them, and remind them how much value they are to the people around them, and the people away from them. send Your love. i know that at the end of the day, that's all we need anyway. i ask that the distractions go away, and that i have the self-control to not let little things interfere with my growth. You are good and You are mighty, i pray i never fail to show you that. Amen.
“A woman is a warrior too. But she is meant to be a warrior in a uniquely feminine way. Sometime before the sorrows of life did their best to kill it in us, most young women wanted to be a part of something grand, something important.”
― Stasi Eldredge, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
“We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil.”
― Stasi Eldredge, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
