there is so much going on in the world. since i woke up, i have heard about tornadoes where some of my family lives, the death of a man who lost his grandson a few months ago to suicide, a friend who is 3 weeks pregnant, a friend who is engaged....LOTS going on.
God does things in life that i don't understand, and i know i will never understand a few of those. 5 years ago when i was a freshman in college, i didn't understand why i was in this town. why i was going to that school. how and why i started to drink. how and why i started to get into bad situations that i had promised myself and others i would never be in. today, i have been reflecting, and one song made that happen. "if i could do it again" by corey smith. that was the theme song to my spring break in 2007. on the beach getting drunk. i honestly only remember a few things from that trip, and one of those was, this girl got her eyebrow shaved off. that was a highlight, but that also goes to show how ridiculous life was then...
and i can't tell you how relieved i am that i am not that person anymore. yes, i drink every once in awhile, and yes sometimes i am regretful of that. i do not wake up every morning truly hating myself now, i wake up thankful for a boyfriend that i am SO undeserving of, and thankful for a God who continues to give me grace every single day....which i am also undeserving of.
sometimes i wish life was moving a little faster for me, because i think i'm ready for new things. that's when God tells me to stop rushing. there is honestly no point to be in a rush, but also, there's a big difference in not rushing and waiting. i don't really know what that means just yet, but anyway, the tears are flowing so i will stop there.
xo
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